twenty twelve to twenty thirteen

ahh 2012. what a year. this isn't going to be super eloquent or poetic but i want to summarize it for journaling and future reasons.

2012 was made up of: laughter, new friends, spending 2 weeks in the summer with 3 of my very very best friends(it was beyond awesome.), my health both improving and getting worse, new doctors, more tears than i care to count, late nights, tons of love from my siblings, love, deep heart talks(mostly late night because that's when the best times are ;), coaching my 7 year old brother's soccer team with my mom(what an experience! it was so fun and i loved it), saw many movies in the theater with my dad and/or friends, lots of pain, learned to drive a ATV/ 4 wheeler, awesome times with friends, went through a super hard time when my mom hurt her back(wow, was that tough), felt amazingly supported by friends(aka the body of Christ) and the biggest thing; my eyes and heart were opened to just how mighty the Lord is. How much He loves. and how amazing His love is. I can't put it into words but this year was full of pain, heartache and struggle and in the midst I am comforted and speechless about my Jesus and His love. I'm so tiny compared to Him. So wrecked and a complete mess. HE is the beauty and life. His love covers my pain and heals my heart. The pain is even worth it because of Him and His love. I truly believe that all this heartache and trials are not for nothing. I don't know what the reasons are for it, why the way my life is the way it is but I do know He loves me and that counts for everything. 

I have terrible days and bits of sadness and I fit discouragement but I'm learning and ultimately I KNOW that God is in control and is above all. He is my hope.

also, we had to put our sweet girl, Bailey down the saturday before Christmas. She had been sick for a few weeks, had a heart murmur, arthritis and cancer. It was hard and I miss her like crazy but I love knowing she's not in anymore pain! Its a weight off my head and heart but my heart still misses her.

I pray for 2013: 

• that my relationship with Jesus would grow stronger and that I would continue to be amazed by His love and greatness. 
• that I would love my siblings more. sincerely, and intently.
• that i would be the best friend I can be 
• that i would not compare. i've been battling comparison for a few months and have been working on my heart. I am ME. and that's extraordinary. If I'm comparing myself to others negatively I'm no longer me, I'm a impersonation of that person and that's kinda like dissing Jesus ;) In other words, I'm working on loving myself. 
• that i would remember, in the darkest times, that I am loved and supported so much.

2013 goals: 

• spend more time with friends and make a point to talk to those, who don't live near me very often.
• take more pictures. every minute is a memory :) 
• read the Bible every day. I've never gone through with this goal but I really want to. Even though I don't want to some days, I NEED to. 
• take a break from facebook, twitter and instagram for 2+ days 

Fun 2013 goals: 

• Watch all 3 of the extended versions of The Lord of the Rings(not all at the same time) 
• Have a Batman marathon 
• Go visit my best friends who live 8 hours away(the ones i visited in the summer) 
• get my drivers license 
• Visit my dear friend Sky(this would be an amazing dream come true! hehe ;) 
• Decorate my bedroom wall more, I have things to use and hang up but haven't gotten around to it! I want to make some sort of picture collage(DIY from Pinterest?) 
• I'm going to redesign my blog! a fresh look for the new year. 
• Blog more

I hope you all have had a beautiful year! If was tough, I'm right there with you, I pray that you've found the little blessings amidst it all. Here's to 2013! Whatever comes, God is our rock and anchor.

I leave 2012 and enter 2013 with this verse: I've memorized it and it means so much to me.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God 

will be with you wherever you go."

-Joshua 1:9

happy new year! 

xo,

marissa